Another 365 to journey around the sun, I hope your year is off to a decent start. Resolutions, plots and plans notwithstanding, I hope you remain resolute in running your race with unyielding valor. A new year is like the beginning of a safari, once that clock strikes midnight you need to have a destination in mind, have packed what you need and have your means of transport figured out, ticket in hand. We may not be able to prepare for every possible outcome because anything could happen from stray lions to pandemics, plot twists make exciting adventures and have their place in the grand scheme of things, but let life find you living, moving, growing.
I acknowledge that conversations about love and relationships have most of us jaded and truly worn out and yet we must persist in tending to these very sore places with truth and compassion otherwise we concede defeat and give up the pursuit of seeing our lives come to full bloom. Living half a life is too high a price to pay, so insist we must, and therefore I ask, how have you prepared to navigate your love safari this year... what's your destination? What's in your travel bag? How are you getting there?
Destination is all about mindset. Everyone has their own experiences, beliefs and understanding. What are you choosing to believe when it comes to relationships? I think it is important that we learn to separate the pain of experience from the purpose of it. The purpose of pain is to clear our eyes, strengthen our hearts and forge our insight. We must refuse to make room for pain that shames and maims, that kind of ache that shuts you down and makes you silent should not be allowed to find expression in our souls. Being cognizant of our mindset, we recognize how much work it takes on a personal level and therefore know for a fact that it cannot be our job to change someone else's. If you intend to get to your destination find your tribe and roll with like minded folk.
Failing to prioritize self love is like discovering while on transit, that you carried an empty suitcase. All dolled up on the outside but empty on the inside. You've got no underwear, no charger, no shoes, with no essentials... its going to be one long safari! Self love is the lens through which you see the world, its the cup from whence you pour into others. For me, self love is more than self affirmation, getting massages and dancing in the rain, part of self love is self work. Identifying my weaknesses and working on them, learning how to practice kindness, honour, virtue, being teachable. Its being able to look at myself in the mirror and celebrate my strengths and also be honest about what I need to do better.
Patience is the most efficient mode of transport for love safaris. Long suffering, self restraint, tolerance, discipline, fortitude, composure...this journey is not for the faint of heart. It is impossible to love yourself or others if you lack patience. It takes time to build relationships, and when they fail, hearts take time to heal, working on yourself takes time, forgiveness takes time, it takes time to get to know people, learning how to love takes time. Knowing what to expect during the journey helps to prepare us for the turbulence along the way, so we don't panic and abandon ship when things get rocky. Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
I am inviting us to consider that perhaps the more excellent way to prepare ourselves for happy, healthy, abiding relationships is to look more within than without, surely then we will be sound enough to be trusted with another's heart and at the very least we will emerge with character that will stand the test of time.
Wishing you journey mercies and the most fulfilling safari!
adios 💜