Things lovers do 🤭

So we're drawing the curtains on 2024 in a bit, everything said and done if we've made it this far then grace has been sufficient and there's serious battles we won, even if it may not feel or look that way, so congratulations beautiful people, we have blessings to count!

let me start by thanking the good lord for seeing me through one of the most emotionally stripping seasons that i have had in recent times. You think love will test you and show you things and honestly, there's lessons i wish i could learn some other way, and when you think your heart cannot stretch any further life looks at you and laughs. My love safari this year has been so bumpy, at some point the car broke down in the thicketts, i ran out of gas, i lost my suitcase, my phone died and my fellow safarians had their own things going on so i had to figure alot out all on my own and let me tell you Maina...😪 this was not the trip i planned for.

When you think about it lovers do the scariest nastiest things. Staff you would cringe at the thought of become normal in romantic relationships, regular exchange of saliva and other body fluids for instance, talking to the same person all the time and being open to letting an absolute stranger into your actual everyday. The fellow could be a sycopath, married acting single or going with the flow, still healing, doesn't know themselves, avoidant or anxious ... truth is we can never really know all of a person. Yet when love first begins,despite premium tears shed in the past, there is the curiosity to take a step forward and then another. Over time the once random human becomes an intricate part of our lives and now an expression on their face can shift our energy and their abscence is not something we want to fathom, slowly hearts are knit to and beat for each other, and if we're lucky growth is constant untill hearts beat insync.

One of my biggest lessons through this year's safari is that lovers can and should create their own kind of utopia. For me that starts by believing truly, sincerely deep in your heart that love can and does work. Understanding that in the right partnership growth is desired and pursued by both parties first within themselves and then in and with each other. Being with someone who does not believe in love is a total waste of time, hear me please. The lack of faith is a sign of wounds deep enough that need a whole lot of healing and it is an indication that they do not possess the will or strength to partake in lovers affairs.

True lovers are therefore always challenging themselves and each other to be better and thats why it isnt always peaches and ice cream, lovers clush alot because growth is uncomfortable, it takes time and there will be pain. Here's why;

1.Your person will push you to be clear about what you really want out of life and particularly what love life means to you. Why? because two cannot walk together unless they agree. Anything hidden or burried must be brought to the fore , skeletons must be unleashed from the closets,insecurities need to be dealt with, fears and secrets all laid on the table. Not all at once but continuously over time, there is no other way around it.

2. Being part of someone's life will automatically require that sacrifices and concessions are made. It is like a law of nature, you must create space in your life for your person. Shoulders will be brushed because people will be rearranged and it will feel wierd and scary and not everyone will be happy but it must be done. In a healthy relationship geared towards spending forever together, after God your person is your number one priority, this is a difficult truth for many to accept and work towards.

3. Your person will require that you consistently work on your weaknesses. Understanding why someone behaves the way they do is a start ,however, even though the trauma was not your fault the healing is your responsibility otherwise you will continue to bleed on your person and ultimately traumatize them because hurt people hurt people. I advise that we stay very far away from unhealed people. I believe that love can heal, but i also know that individuals must desire healing and do the ground work, healing is not available for the non chalant.

Some symptoms of aching hearts that I have come to learn include inconsistency, arrogance and lack of kindness, silent treatment, self centeredness, lack of or poor communication is a big one. Loving an unhealed person is risky business because unhealed hearts cannot truly love. They may mean well, they can try their best but it's only a matter of time untill their hearts give in because lovers affairs are serious heavy duty things, broken punctured hearts cannot endure the lovers journey.

4. Nobody in this life will put you to the test like your person, nobody will press your buttons as much, nobody will be a truer reflection of you. Lovers are artists, they chisel and mould each other into the best version of themselves, lovers are co - creators with God, the right one will help God achieve His purpose in your life. The wrong one though, well...

5. Your person will fall short of your expectations. Especially where you have reasons for loving them. Disappointments will happen and they hurt because it can feel like deception. They said or made it appear like they could do something and now it's like they are struggling or do not know or do not want to do the thing. Handling dissapointment is interesting because it's a delicate balance between human error and intention, my rule of the thumb is don't keep a list of wrongs because you will run out of numbers i promise you. Pray for discernment, Kenny Rogers said,

' You've got to know when to hold 'em know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run, You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table there'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done' ☺️

The lovers safari, it's not just about holding hands and chasing sunsets although that's super cute 😇 It's primarily supposed to be a journey of self discovery and growing together. It is two best friends choosing to work out destiny together, fulfiling purpose while taking photos and making precious memories along the way.

Lovers have the unique ability to recreate. So it doesn't really matter what your past relationships have been like or what kind of family you come from. If you are bold enough to believe for something greater and you are committed to putting in the work then nothing is impossible. Lovers are able to make what appeared impossible possible, it is a merging of energies that brings forth new possibilities.

I think we now agree that ups and downs can also be an indication that we are on the right path. Love is not always easy, issues are supposed to come up and true lovers are supposed to deal, no excuses, no running, no blame games. True lovers are those who choose to pursue healing because they refuse to go through life burdened, broken and bitter. In the end true lovers create a language only they can understand.

2025 is almost here, let us choose to be persons capable of giving the love we crave, be the change we want to see.

That said, it is also perfectly in order to sit this one out if you are not ready. It is okay to stay home and nurse your heart back to health, if you're up for it we try again next safari . You can choose to travel solo, you'll discover so much about yourself and life, you will get closer to yourself , it will sharpen your senses, give you clarity, teach you gratitude, reveal your inner strength. I remember thinking wow! there's so much more to life.

Safe travels fam bam, i suggest we travel light😊

Wishing you a prosperous new year and the most fulfiling safari !

Yours truly,

Lavenderstrides 💜